Yesterday I played 18 holes of golf at the La Paloma Country Club in Tucson, Arizona. After golfing several holes, I realized that my choice to play from the silver tees was not only overly optimistic, but frankly downright stupid. Also, I should preface this statement by stating that there were 6 colors of tee boxes to choose from...black, gold, silver, copper, jade and ruby...which to me sounds more like an OPI shellac color-selection wheel at a nail salon. This harsh realization of my "color selection" came to me as I approached a hole that had a raised tee box with a 175 foot shot over an arroyo onto an elevated green surrounded by sand. Sounds pleasant for the average golfer, right? So after hoping for a golf miracle (unsuccessfully), I proceeded to the drop area where I would be lying 3. At this point, I wondered what the rules were on switching tee boxes mid-game and not posting your scores if you were dumb enough to play beyond your ability. According to USGA, neither of these are allowable. But while I was looking up the rules on these concepts, I did come across some funny golf facts, misnomers and suggestions that I thought I would share:
1. Play at the appropriate tee level...you will have more fun and your score will be better. Novel idea.
2. The word "trap" (as in sand trap) is a misnomer and does not appear anywhere in the Rules of Golf. The correct term is a bunker. Besides, a "trap" is probably not something you want to be in anyway (i.e., bear trap, mouse trap, speed trap.)
3. "Cup" and "pin" have replaced the proper terms of "hole" and "flagstick". One can just as easily say cup and pin, can't they? Besides, hearing someone refer to "pin placement" makes you think of a voodoo doll...and the object of the game is to put the ball in the hole, not the cup, right?
4. Fairway woods should always be called fairway woods. It just doesn't sound right to say, "I'm going to use my 3-metal for this shot". I'm pretty sure everyone understands that they're not actually made of wood anymore.
5. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
6. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he or she breaks a rule is is like expecting someone to make fun of their own haircut.
7. Golf is harder than baseball because in golf you have to play your foul balls.
8. They call it golf because all the other 4-letter words were taken.
9. The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
And the final golfism that applies most to me...
10. It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot!
Cheers!
Kim
As a "professional" shopper and an infomercial junkie, I want to share my fabulous finds (ranging from cheap to expensive) with my friends, family and the rest of the internet world.
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